“Jake and I talked, I think we are going to try and work things out.”
“That is great! Did he apologize for when he said [fill in the blank]?”
“No, but Jake is a boy; boys are stupid.”
It bothers me whenever I am telling a story involving something a guy did or when I am inquiring on a friend’s story of something a guy did and as an excuse for the guy’s behavior they claim: boys are stupid. Let me be clear: boys are NOT stupid. Sure, they can be imperfect, unobservant, and have one-track minds, but that does not make them dumb.
There has been so much hype going on about the phrase “like a girl” and how derogatory it is, but I cannot help but think about how often I hear the phrase “boys are stupid”… how is this any different? Just because I am a girl does not automatically make me weak, wimpy, or incompetent and just because someone is a boy does not automatically make them ignorant or irresponsible.
Guys and girls alike say things they don’t mean and overreact, but so often we dismiss comments made by guys that hurt our feelings or went unexplained just because he is a guy. Just being a guy does not mean that they do not need to take responsibility for their actions or inactions. By saying ‘he is a boy, boys are stupid’ does not make the situation go away nor is it a valid excuse to brush whatever happened under the rug.
Just last night I said something that came out completely wrong, but I doubt the two guys I addressed left thinking “Lauren is so rude, but it’s okay, because she is a girl and girls are stupid.” So if I assume guys are not going to think that about me, why do so many of us let whatever they say slide just because of their gender?
Guys have thoughts and feelings just like girls, but sometimes they don’t come out right. Why not ask them what they meant or why they thought it was necessary to bring that subject up? By claiming ‘guys are stupid’, you are deciding that they do not understand what they are talking about or that they don’t think when they speak. I believe the opposite. I think they are just people who don’t think before they speak, but I think that more times than not there is meaning behind whatever was dismissed.
So next time a guy does something irritating, wrong, or confusing don’t just ignore it and assume it meant nothing just because he is a boy. Bring it up and let him have a chance to explain, because most likely there is more thought into what happened than we give them credit for. Let’s start believing that boys are smart!