Boys are Stupid

“Jake and I talked, I think we are going to try and work things out.”
“That is great! Did he apologize for when he said [fill in the blank]?”
“No, but Jake is a boy; boys are stupid.”

boys are stupid

It bothers me whenever I am telling a story involving something a guy did or when I am inquiring on a friend’s story of something a guy did and as an excuse for the guy’s behavior they claim: boys are stupid. Let me be clear: boys are NOT stupid. Sure, they can be imperfect, unobservant, and have one-track minds, but that does not make them dumb.

There has been so much hype going on about the phrase “like a girl” and how derogatory it is, but I cannot help but think about how often I hear the phrase “boys are stupid”… how is this any different? Just because I am a girl does not automatically make me weak, wimpy, or incompetent and just because someone is a boy does not automatically make them ignorant or irresponsible.

Guys and girls alike say things they don’t mean and overreact, but so often we dismiss comments made by guys that hurt our feelings or went unexplained just because he is a guy. Just being a guy does not mean that they do not need to take responsibility for their actions or inactions. By saying ‘he is a boy, boys are stupid’ does not make the situation go away nor is it a valid excuse to brush whatever happened under the rug. 

Just last night I said something that came out completely wrong, but I doubt the two guys I addressed left thinking “Lauren is so rude, but it’s okay, because she is a girl and girls are stupid.” So if I assume guys are not going to think that about me, why do so many of us let whatever they say slide just because of their gender?

Guys have thoughts and feelings just like girls, but sometimes they don’t come out right. Why not ask them what they meant or why they thought it was necessary to bring that subject up? By claiming ‘guys are stupid’, you are deciding that they do not understand what they are talking about or that they don’t think when they speak. I believe the opposite. I think they are just people who don’t think before they speak, but I think that more times than not there is meaning behind whatever was dismissed. 

So next time a guy does something irritating, wrong, or confusing don’t just ignore it and assume it meant nothing just because he is a boy. Bring it up and let him have a chance to explain, because most likely there is more thought into what happened than we give them credit for. Let’s start believing that boys are smart!

Last Year Does Not Disappear

Happy New Year’s Eve!

January 1st holds such a special place in the lives of all of us. Even if you do not write resolutions, make mental goals, or tell yourself you are going to change at least one thing in the upcoming year, you still look forward to it. It symbolizes a clean slate, waking up fresh, a deep breath.

We often view it as our latest chance. Having friend troubles, no worries, you can make new ones. Having relationship problems, no sweat, you can look for someone new. Having school issues, no big deal, you can do better this semester. Having money struggles, no problem, you can actually get a job. Instead of dealing with the things that are currently not going as planned, we have the mentality that we can just up-and-change our lives, because it is the start of a new 365 days.

I would be lying if I did not admit that I am one of these people. I like pushing aside what I need to work on, telling myself I will deal with it a different time when I am really just waiting for the year to end so I can start over and just forget about what I have slid under the rug. But we cannot do this. The people in our lives matter even when they are being difficult. The friendships we have made are important even when they seem to be slipping away. The way we view ourselves is vital even when we plan on loving ourselves soon.

Even though it is a new year, the hard times, the friendships, the grades, the empty bank account is all still there. So instead of starting a new story on a blank page, why do we not just revise our old one?

The year is long. Times will get tough. The excitement you have about your resolutions will fade. You will see that friend. Classes will start again. Your bank account will increase and dwindle. Let last year be a reminder and a guide to how we respond to these situations. By not forgetting about the mistakes or hurt, we can learn from them and better choose what path to take.