Boys are Stupid

“Jake and I talked, I think we are going to try and work things out.”
“That is great! Did he apologize for when he said [fill in the blank]?”
“No, but Jake is a boy; boys are stupid.”

boys are stupid

It bothers me whenever I am telling a story involving something a guy did or when I am inquiring on a friend’s story of something a guy did and as an excuse for the guy’s behavior they claim: boys are stupid. Let me be clear: boys are NOT stupid. Sure, they can be imperfect, unobservant, and have one-track minds, but that does not make them dumb.

There has been so much hype going on about the phrase “like a girl” and how derogatory it is, but I cannot help but think about how often I hear the phrase “boys are stupid”… how is this any different? Just because I am a girl does not automatically make me weak, wimpy, or incompetent and just because someone is a boy does not automatically make them ignorant or irresponsible.

Guys and girls alike say things they don’t mean and overreact, but so often we dismiss comments made by guys that hurt our feelings or went unexplained just because he is a guy. Just being a guy does not mean that they do not need to take responsibility for their actions or inactions. By saying ‘he is a boy, boys are stupid’ does not make the situation go away nor is it a valid excuse to brush whatever happened under the rug. 

Just last night I said something that came out completely wrong, but I doubt the two guys I addressed left thinking “Lauren is so rude, but it’s okay, because she is a girl and girls are stupid.” So if I assume guys are not going to think that about me, why do so many of us let whatever they say slide just because of their gender?

Guys have thoughts and feelings just like girls, but sometimes they don’t come out right. Why not ask them what they meant or why they thought it was necessary to bring that subject up? By claiming ‘guys are stupid’, you are deciding that they do not understand what they are talking about or that they don’t think when they speak. I believe the opposite. I think they are just people who don’t think before they speak, but I think that more times than not there is meaning behind whatever was dismissed. 

So next time a guy does something irritating, wrong, or confusing don’t just ignore it and assume it meant nothing just because he is a boy. Bring it up and let him have a chance to explain, because most likely there is more thought into what happened than we give them credit for. Let’s start believing that boys are smart!

Why Am I So Unsatisfied?

I cannot figure out why I am constantly wanting to change or “fix” what I already have or who I already am.

Blaming the society I live in is not the answer. It is that I let the ways of this world get into my head. With this fast-paced, me me me, I need the newest best thing right now mentality that is thrown my way on a daily basis, it makes it very difficult to be satisfied and happy with who I am, the clothes I wear, the things that I have, the activities I like, the family I was given, the opportunities available to me… the list goes on.

“I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” – Psalm 139:14

I know that nothing about me is a mistake or an accident. God created and formed me as an individual with unique abilities and interests. I was not made to be like everyone else, but neither were you. We were all made to be different and original, so it is difficult to stand firm in this when I am constantly being pushed to conform.

Honestly, needing the next best thing is not really a downfall of mine. I like my style and do not mind wearing inexpensive clothes and my old Jeep is definitely my favorite form of transportation. But I do fall into the trap of feeling that I am not worthy or enough for those around me. Yet I know that I am, because I am a work of God.

“In the day when God created man, He made him in the likeness of God.” – Genesis 5:1

I was created in the image of God! That is a powerful statement and one that I need to dwell on a lot more than I do. It needs to be more of a mantra that I repeat to myself anytime I start to feel unworthy. I am beautiful and special and look exactly the way God intended.

“… I shall be satisfied when I awake in your likeness.” – Psalm 17:15

I do not believe that God wants me to be sad or depressed or unsatisfied, but I do believe that He has given me the means to not be. He sacrificed his son, so that I could be SAVED, LOVED, and FORGIVEN. There is nothing about me that He does not know nor is there anything about me that He cannot restore.

God has a plan for my life and is just waiting for me to choose Him each morning and live accordingly. He is not just going to hand me what I want or wiggle his nose to morph me into what I think I need to be. He can satisfy every need and want that I have, but only if I let Him. 

“The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.” – Isaiah 58:11

Be Careful Who You Tell

It never ceases to amaze me that what you say is never safe from being shared. It does not matter what the situation, the story, or the person.

I try very hard to be a good, reliable, and trustworthy friend. I try to be available when my friends need to talk or cry or vent. I listen to their stories and rants. I am not perfect, so I slip up, but I try to keep my gossip-spreading tendencies to a minimum.

I understand the value of a good story, but I do not understand why it does not occur to some people (aka a person who calls themselves your friend) that perhaps what you are telling them is sensitive and is not to be shared. Apparently information is fair game unless specified as “classified” but that logic is ridiculous!

There is a reason that people do not tell their acquaintances the same stuff they tell their friends. Because when telling a friend something, you automatically expect a higher level of confidentiality.

I was saddened to learn that something I told a friend, in what I thought was confidence, had made its way to two different people who were not intended to know. I do not know how long ago this was spread and I do not care, it just reiterated to me that not all people can be trusted… friend or not.

Some would make the point that I should not do or say anything that I would not want spread around, but I would claim that that is not the point.